Healthy Holistic Living

The Narcissist Checklist: How To Avoid A Narcissist


A narcissist is defined as a person who has a gross sense of grandiosity, a lack of empathy for other people, and a need for admiration. People who are recognized as narcissists are often described as arrogant, self-centered, manipulative, and demanding [1]. But you might recognize them differently; there are more narcissists out there than you may realize.

The Narcissists In Our Lives

While narcissist is a pretty general term, there are actually a few types of people we might already know or have known in our lives that were actually narcissists without us even realizing [2]. Not all narcissists behave in the same way, and some might not even appear to be narcissists at all! Here is how you can tell if someone you know is a narcissist or not.

The Know-It-All

Have you ever known a person that is always the first person to chime in with their opinion, even when they weren’t asked? Maybe they’re the kind of person that thinks they no better than anyone else, no matter what the conversation is about. They like to lecture and love the sound of their own voice. They’re often so busy thinking about what they want to say next that they don’t bother listening to anyone around them.

The Grandiose

This is closest to what most people believe typical narcissists are like. They view themselves as more important or influential than other people. They are always bringing up their accomplishments, looking to make you either envious of them or to admire them. They believe that they are destined for great things, and their ambition might even bring them success.


The Seducer

This narcissist behaves in a way that most people would believe to be the opposite of narcissistic behavior. This kind of narcissist makes you feel good about yourself. They will appear to admire and idealize you, but their ultimate goal is to make sure that you’ll mirror these feelings to them. They will compliment and flatter you until you give them your support and admiration, but once they’ve gotten what they want, they’re quick to give you the cold shoulder.

The Bully

This narcissist builds themselves up by bringing other people down. This is pretty indicative of bullies in general; they share some aspects of the Grandiose and Know-It-All narcissists but are far more aggressive. They rely on contempt to make others feel like losers, proving themselves a winner in the process.

The Vindictive One

Vindictive narcissists are the type of people that will stop at nothing to get back at you if you deny their superiority. You may have challenged their superior status in some way you don’t even recognize, and as a result, they need to prove you the ultimate loser by destroying you. They could try and get you fired, speak ill about you behind your back, and undermine you at any turn.

But how can we avoid being targeted by these or any kind of narcissist? Well, let’s start with who is most likely to be a victim of a narcissist.

7 Things Narcissists Look For In Their Victims

Narcissists are very specific when they choose their ‘victims’; people who will satisfy their needs. If you’re looking to avoid narcissists, or deal with someone in your life who is a narcissist, it’s important to not be the kind of person that will enable their behavior.

Here’s what a narcissist looks for in people [3]:

Someone Who Needs Them Emotionally


Narcissists will likely target someone who they see as missing something. Someone who is emotionally invested in them is the ideal target; narcissists will usually target empaths, as they are more intune with their emotions.

Someone Who Wants To Be Woo’ed

Narcissists can be very charming, they have the ability to get on close to people with their silver tongue. They know that targeting someone who they can make feel good will in turn, return the favor and stroke their ego as well.

Someone Who They Benefit From Being With

They target people who can help them get something they want. Whether they can benefit socially, professionally, or however, they will choose you as a target if your relationship can benefit them. They know exactly what they are doing from the start.

Someone Who Will Let Them Play The Victim

The narcissist is always trying to play the victim so someone who can recognize this is not an ideal target. If they find someone that will placate them, they will constantly turn to them when others rebuff them.

Someone With Low Self-Esteem, Even If They Don’t Know It


Narcissists can be very manipulative, and someone with very low self-esteem is the perfect target for them. People with low self-esteem are more likely to not stand up for themselves, so narcissists can beat them down for their own benefit and know they won’t be rebuffed.

Someone Who Believes They Can Fix Others

There are those types of people who, despite warnings of others and their own experiences, will do whatever they can to try and ‘fix’ people. They see the behavior narcissists have, but they believe that they can be the ones that can change them. This allows narcissists to go back to them every time others reject them.

Someone Who Is Quick To Trust Others

Narcissists need someone who will trust them quickly. Someone who will let them in right away. This allows them to quickly get what they want from people, before they realize their true intentions. While the narcissist does not mind working for things from time to time, this is much easier.

Now that you know the different types of narcissists that are out there and what they look for in people, you’ll be better able to protect yourself from them. Good luck!

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