“You Know You Have a Bad Doctor When He is on the Phone to His Publicist While You Are Passed Out in the Waiting Room”

Ok, that title might be a slight exaggeration, but not by far! I was unlucky enough to seek out a “top rated” doctor in Manhattan and thus my introduction to the world’s most narcissistic doctor began. My experience to this day still feels surreal, as if I was in some type of futuristic movie.

I walked into his office and was questioned, not greeted by several staff members and was told to take a seat in the waiting room. It was a small, cramped space and a bit dirty, not something you would expect from a highfalutin New York doctor. Having looked around a bit I started to notice that all of the reading material available was written by the doctor. There was nothing typical lying around like “Women’s Day” or “Sports Illustrated.” I thought it was strange, but let it go. Eventually, I wondered into another room with a television set. Since my wait was extended, I thought I would see what mind numbing show I could find to kill some time. On the television I noticed that Larry King was on and he was interviewing the doctor that I was about to see. After a while, I began to realize that the interview was playing on a loop and was permanently available for our viewing pleasure. That was odd but hey, the guy is trying to make a buck. Then I noticed that all of his patients were leaving his office with big bags of vitamins, very expensive vitamins and guess who’s picture was on the bottle? Yup, you guessed it, the doctor! HHHHMMMM....something was a bit strange about this place. The office didn’t seem to have much wall art up except advertisements for the doctor’s weekly radio show. I thought this guy must have gone to the Martha Stewart School of Marketing! It was all a little creepy.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, which may have been done intentionally (the more time you spent in his waiting room the greater chance for the brain washing to take effect) I was escorted into the financial office (dust closet) and put through the health insurance/cash out of pocket ringer. Once through that gantlet, I was placed in a chair in the hallway to see the “Great Doctor.” Behind me, I noticed a display of the Lord’s Prayer that had been altered to include the words testicles and vagina. I was beginning to think that I was not in Kansas anymore!

After a lengthy interview process the doctor explained that the delay and his rather grumpy disposition was do to an interview he had earlier that morning with a rather opinionated, aggressive journalist on the FOX network.. I guess he felt compelled to slip that in! Anyway, sometime during the interview process he asked if I have had botox treatment, being the down to earth gal that I am I thought it was an odd question. But I thought ok, I am in New York. Maybe this is a common question. I replied that I had not had botox. He asked if I was sure. Well of course, I am sure. I think I would remember something like that. We went round and round and didn’t get very far. At this point, I began to realize that it didn’t matter what I said. This doctor was going to draw his own conclusions and there was no changing his mind. Truth be dammed! It also dawned on me that he was using these same intuitive skills to determine my physical and mental disposition. This was going to a bad place very fast. Once a liar always a liar? I had committed a tremendous amount of time and money in seeing this doctor and I intended to follow through. He was acutely intelligent and had some rather advanced equipment available to him that I wanted to take advantage of. I had to make a choice between two bad options. 1. Follow through with him to get the information I wanted at a high emotional price or 2. Walk out now! Yikes!

Well needless to say, I stuck it out and it is something I will never do again. It was a high price to pay for very little in return. To be openly called a liar and belittled is too high a price to pay for any kind of information.

From this experience I learned that intelligence, money and prestige do not make a good doctor. Medicine is an art that includes skill, empathy, knowledge, experience and insight, some of which this doctor was sorely missing.