Self-care. It’s an important part of looking after your health that a lot of people forget about. Unfortunately, neglecting this can have detrimental effects on your overall health. When we do think about self-care we think about having a nice relaxing bubble bath, or taking some ‘me-time’. What we don’t necessarily think about is how the people around us can affect our health too. Surrounding yourself with uplifting friends may be the most overlooked form of self-care.
The Emotional Vampire
This is the kind of friend who you feel ridiculously drained after seeing. Chances are they are overly dramatic about everything and demand to be the center of attention. They’re a constant victim. You have to focus 100% on them and do whatever they want to do, whether that’s shoe shopping for their next hot date or going out clubbing to cheer them up. It’s all ‘me me me,’ and all go, all the time. Unfortunately, when you have issues in your life, they suddenly have other commitments and can’t do the same for you.
These are friends who are basically the proverbial ‘fair weathered friends’. They like to be around you to get the most out of what you have. Perhaps you work in fashion? They’re around for the perks. Maybe you know people who know people? They want to know you for the same reason. However, you’ll find that when the chips are down, they’re nowhere to be found.
Nothing is ever good enough for them. You might be at an amazing restaurant with great food but it’s ‘not as good as the food I had in Paris.’ (Which, by the way, they pronounce Pah-ree.) The music you like isn’t as good as their taste in music and they always have an opinion about something. Everything. It can be easier to connect with friends who want to share in your excitement about whatever you’re excited about, regardless of how trendy it is.
No secret is ever safe with this friend. Whatever you tell them is fair game to tell everyone else. Think about it for a moment. That gossip your friend just told you? It probably wasn’t theirs to share. So what’s to stop them doing exactly the same to you. Like a town crier, your troubles and problems are going to be broadcast to everyone you know the moment you finish talking to this friend. There is value to be had in friends who are able to maintain a sort of informational vault. They will not share information with you that is not theirs to share, and you can, in turn, trust your information will not be shared with others.
The Negative Nancy
This is another kind of friend who will leave you drained. Nothing is ever going well for them and they’re always hunting for the negative in any given situation. There is usually good and bad to every situation, so if someone is determined to find the downside, they will. You need positive, uplifting people in your life to help you see the good in the world. But all this Nancy does is find the negative. It’s exhausting being around someone like this. I’m not talking depression, because it’s important to make sure you’re there for your friends when they’re in need. I’m talking someone who seems to find it ‘edgy’ or gets joy out of being the constant naysayer.
Those are just a few of the types of people to look out for when making new friends. They’re toxic and can be bad for your mental health, which can, in turn, affect your physical health. The saying goes ‘people who don’t add to your life should be subtracted’. Surround yourself with positive friends instead, and make sure that you help build each other up to be the best versions of yourselves.